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In my old age I find myself a universal grandmother. It is a spiritual state of mind. As I look into the eyes of my grandchildren I see all the children of the world.

It is from this universal vision that I offer selected journal entries of my inner journey from midlife and menopause into old age. Each entry reveals a moment of awakening; glimpses of that vast migration to the soul, from the awakening of the long exiled Divine Feminine to the awareness of myself as a piece of the universe struggling to know itself.


It is for you my precious grandchildren that I write about moments of awakening so that you will not forget; so that you will know that the story at this moment in our evolution is about the return of the Divine Feminine into our world and that your task is to welcome her in your hearts, minds and souls.

Her return symbolizes the shift in consciousness necessary for a new world based on the interrelatedness of all life, a world without exiles.  But, it also tells us that on a deep instinctual, archetypal level that we are ready to join nature and spirit and accept the gift of consciousness bestowed upon us.

If you listen with your heart, you will hear the cries of the species. They are calling for the Divine Feminine.  They are calling for you.

Exiled for thousands of years, the Goddess has come home. And none too soon, for she creates the balance in our species necessary for our survival. Until her renascence I had forgotten who I was, amnesia drifted into my soul. I thought I was matter separated from spirit, transcendent without immanence, isolated, when in reality my family consists of all life forms, the sacred Earth, all things green breathing me. All were forgotten. Each day, the messages and institutions of one sided cultures filled me with philosophies of exile, separation and death.

The state of grace, radical acceptance and oneness with the universe that accompanied the rebirth of the goddess gradually awakened within me, as the feminine swam to the surface from the deep unconsciousness of my psyche.

A profound inner balance resonated within my soul. It has taken 75 years to awaken to the spirit within the sacred vessel of my body. I am in awe of it, grateful for it, and astounded by the depth of universal wholeness that has made itself known to me.

Each day I consciously choose to embrace the archetypal shamanka who lives in my millennial soul. She speaks to me of sacred worlds, in the language of radical acceptance, in symbols and images of the Divine Feminine, in poetic expression, and I hear her not as a sensed voice or in words, but in the language embedded in the bonds between us.

For before I die I must touch who I am.

My lifetime has become the unfolding of oneness into consciousness, a task set for our species that is to be lived by each of us.

And so, my legacy to you my darling grandchildren is a life lived in pilgrimage to the soul where the Divine Feminine lives in all her radiance.


I look forward to welcoming your comments, impressions and experiences.


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